Tuesday, May 20, 2008

For the Bride...A Reader

It's true, it's true. Marco and I are getting married this summer. We're doing a small wedding kind of thing, very DIY. And wouldn't you know it, I just came across a site called IndieBride!

One of the site's creators, Elise Mac Adams, published a book in February called Something New: Wedding Etiquette for Rule Breakers, Traditionalists, and Everyone in Between. I don't think there's a rule Marco and I aren't in some way breaking, but hey. Of greater interest, there's an interesting reading list posted over there. Thought I'd share highlights, with some additions of my own:

Marriage, A History by Stephanie Coontz

A History of the Wife by Marilyn Yalom

Wifework: What Marriage Really Means For Women by Susan Maushart

Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families Under the Law by Nancy Polikoff

Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique by Jaclyn Geller

In spite of it all, I'm still game. Other titles readers would recommend? I'm taking suggestions!


Marjorie said...

Congratulations! Well, I can't suggest a title, but speaking as someone who did her own DIY wedding five years ago (our entire out-of-pocket for me and B. was $2500 for 50 people for both wedding + reception, complete with a full buffet), I just have one piece of advice ('cause you know we can't resist): make sure you do it exactly the way you want it). Perhaps you won't have this problem, but I know from experience how others can take it upon themselves to appoint themselves as your personal bridal consultants.

It's your day, your wedding. If you do it the way you want it, you'll be much happier than if you succumbed to the pressures of how others think it should be. Trust me. If it reflects your and your fiance's personalities and desires, it'll be nothing short of perfect.

Mazel tov!


p.s. Er, one last piece of advice, I swear: Get both a videographer and a photographer. Definitely don't skimp on either one. They'll be the only evidence you'll have of the day once all the flowers have wilted and died and all the food has been eaten. It's worth splurging on these two and skimping on the others, if you have a strict budget.

Deborah Siegel said...

Thank you Marjorie!!! Wow -- 2500? I'm impressed!

This is from Elline:

"I also wanted to add another *excellent* book to the indiebride pile: (act. two): Kami Wycoff's I Do But I Don't (which Lani tipped me off to), and Altared -- which I thought was v. good (and just met two of the LA contributers at a cookout this weeked), ed. Colleen Curran. It's got an excellent cover too. So, more two cents."

Marjorie said...

Deborah, yeah, well, that doesn't include the honeymoon. We deliberately kept the expenses low so that we can splurge on the honeymoon. (Our reasoning was that the wedding was for family and friends, while the honeymoon was for us. ;-) I think the trip (Big Island of Hawaii for 10 days) totaled about $2500, too.

It can be done. It's just a matter of careful planning.

Let me know if you need any help. I love weddings!